The Wrong Guy


For 26 years that I’ve lived, I can firmly say that my single days (so far) are the best… because my relationships always fell apart and ended up miserably. Four of them, even the unofficial ones outside that.

I wonder why am I not Taylor Swift yet. 

Oh right, I didn’t have that many boyfriends 😆

But come to think of it, it actually goes with deeper meaning: our happiness is how we make it, it does not depend on anybody else, even on our closest person.

I know for sure why everything fell apart, ’cause I believe I’m not meant to end up in the arms of the wrong guy. Somehow the “catastrophies” had to happen. It felt really bad at the beginning, but I couldn’t be more grateful that I got away.

Someday, I know I will meet somebody who fits me like my favorite socks, who’s as cuddly as my bolster, as warm as my blanket, and as funny and smart as my favorite TV show, The Big Bang Theory. And if I’m luckier, I think he will finally be taller than me (oh please!), especially when I’m wearing heels 😆

I know it sounds all too dreamy… but I gotta have the mindset that I deserve it, nyahaha…

As for now, I would dream on… while enjoying what I’m doing right now. Living my life as free as a bird.

When I was 22 and dating someone, one of my closest friends who is like a sister to me (she’s 30 something) told me that she thought the ideal age to get married is after 27 y.o. Because the way we see men in our early 20s (while we prolly are still jobless or in the beginning of our career) will be very different after we hit middle 20s or late 20s, when we can afford things ourselves and be really independent. A guy that prolly looks so “shiny” and great to us in our early 20s, is not actually that awesome or “above” us when we’re older. Who knows we can even “beat” them at their age?

When you’re young, you just go banging about, but you’re more sensitive as you grow older. You have higher standards of what’s really good. 

-Deborah Kerr-

Now, I don’t wanna generalize this, because some of my friends are married quite young and are happy with their spouses. For me, no matter how young or old you are, when you know, you know. It doesn’t matter. But what my friend said to me when I was 22 was so true for me. I can relate to it very much. That’s why I said, in the end, I am glad my relationships didn’t work. I’m glad I’m taking my time and enjoying my life. When I was back to being single on the age of 24, I did all the things I never did when I dated: I went to concerts like mad, went clubbing until 7 in the morning, went to social events and met so many friends as often as I wanted to, went out with whoever I like, solo traveled here and there as if the world’s gonna disappear if I didn’t, did sleepovers, drinking and getting wasted for the first and the last time (I threw up the whole night and skipped work – would never do it again, hahaha). I tried things that I never tried before, go out and play. At least now I know how it feels. What matters is that I set my limit.

I chose to stick to what I love too: writing and traveling. And sometimes I write about love in my articles/columns and books. ‘Cause I  thought to myself… if I can’t have the guy, at least make money out of it, nyahaha… and so I did. I wrote about them. Taylor Swift, ya hear me? 😆

Someday, somehow, someway, in a good day, there’ll be a post titled “The Right Guy” in this blog, with a picture, and I couldn’t be happier.

For now, let’s go out and play.



  1. ‘Someday, somehow, someway, in a good day, there’ll be a post titled “The Right Guy” in this blog, with a picture, and I couldn’t be happier.’

    YEAAY, in my blog too!!!

    Cheers Kaaak hahahaha amen 🙂

  2. Reblogged this on naNINAnuneno and commented:
    Mengutip beberapa baris tulisan teppy dibawah ini :
    “Someday, somehow, someway, in a good day, there’ll be a post titled “The Right Guy” in this blog, with a picture, and I couldn’t be happier”. ( amiiiiiiin yang kenceng )

    Gw udah pengen banget dari kapan tau bisa berbagi cerita tentang pasangan hidup seperti temen2 yang udah menikah. Yaah mungkin seperti orang2 omongin juga ntar diwaktu yang tepat dan orang yang tepat pula saat itu akan datang ( walaupun udah gk sabaaaaaar ).
    Udah banyak dipertemukan dengan si A, B, C….. ( bahkan malah sempet atau masih salah menempatkan hati di orang yang sebenernya gw udah tau itu salah) kok yah gk ada yg nyantol, sampai rasanya sepertinya ada yang salah di diri gw. Tapi setelah banyak ngobrol dan bertemu dgn orang2 yang ternyata jg single dan cerita mereka juga gk jauh2 seperti yang gw alami, baru rasanya sedikit terbantu hati ini 🙂 .

    Sebenarnya terbebani gk sih Nin?!
    Jujur… gw pribadi sebenarnya gk sama sekali, so far hari2 gw , gw isi dgn hal2 yang bisa bikin hati ini seneng ( ya nonton bioskop walaupun sendirian gk masalah, nonton serial2 korea yang terkadang malah bikin mupeng punya pasangan hahaaa, dan yang lebih seru lagi pergi berlibur ke tempat2 baru walaupun lebih sering berujung ke negri tetangga hahaa ).
    Justru yang bikin beban orang2 sekitar, supeeer pusiing ngejawab pertanyaan “kapan” ? seandainya gw tahu -____-
    Kemarin juga sempet baca postingan tapi lupa siapa yang buat, isinya lebih kurang begini :
    Hidup itu Tuhan yang menentukan
    Kita menjalani dan orang-orang mengomentari
    hahahaaa beneeer banget yaks.

    Kalo dulu gw doanya sering minta pendamping yang begini begitu bla blaaa… tapi sekarang lebih simple ( bagi gw ntah bagi sang pencipta ) gw mau dipertemukan dengan calon imam yang terbaik yang allah miliki yang dapat membimbing dan membahagiakan dunia akhirat , hanya allahlah yg tau apa yang gw butuhkan bukan gw inginkan ( tapi tetap komat kamit at least yang kondangan-able ya allah ) 😉

    Mohon amiinnnya yah temen2 semoga gw dipertemukan dgn pendamping hidup di 2014 nanti 🙂

    • and I was referring to you when I said “my friend,” kamu ngomongnya pas kita lagi makan di Pancious jaman aku masih pacaran sama *beeeeeeeeeeeeeep* 😆

  3. “Someday, somehow, someway, in a good day, there’ll be a post titled “The Right Guy” in this blog,” <— aamiin yah neng teppy,,,biasanya jodoh emang dipertemukan Tuhan disaat yang ga kita sangka kok,,,siapa tahu besok, lusa, atau bisa taon depan entah di mana dan dengan cara apa 😉

  4. I agree with the age to get married. Menurutku sblm 27 tuh terlalu muda dan perspektif soal cinta masih terlalu menye2. Memang kedewasaan org beda2 ya, and thats why many couples survive after getting married early. Krn mereka udah dewasa. At the end of the day, it’s about being ready or not to share your life with someone else.

  5. gatel pengen mengomentari orang2 yg keliatannya ngebet pengen ketemu jodoh deh. numpang ngoceh ya tep. hihihi.

    dulu sebelum nikah gw juga sama. selalu memimpikan dapat jodoh yg begini begitu. trus ketemu suami gw ini. did i know when i first met him that he will be the one? nope. you see.. we didn’t get thru normal dating period. we met online in 1997, started to chat regularly in 2007, decided to meet july 2009, was married by december that year. what i learnt from the years we’ve been married is that love is not always what it seems. sure.. the ideal thing to do when/if we find someone exactly like what you hope for, is to fall in love with that guy and then marry him. God, however, has a pretty funny way of showing us what we need. did i think my husband is mr perfect? nope. sampai sekarang i’m still learning to accept him fully. but the thing is.. mr perfect doesn’t mean he would fit what your imagination would be of a perfect guy. mr perfect means that despite all his “disabilities”, somehow you can’t imagine life without him. my husband does not fit my criteria of a perfect husband that i created when i was single. but he is perfect-for-me right now. sure.. he annoys me sometimes. we argue. we fight. we have ugly moments too. but i simply can NOT imagine life without him. so when we do fight, we fix whatever is bothering us, because turning away is not an option.

    don’t spend your single life trying to find someone who fits your criteria of a perfect husband. you might just be too busy doing that to realize that mr perfect-for-you is right in front of you all along. and guess what: sometimes you just don’t know. you don’t know that he’s the one God’s assigned for you.

    having said that.. i do agree with your quotes there. when you do find someone in your early 20s who’s really meant for you, great. if not, don’t bother feeling rushed. i really don’t get what’s the hype about being jomblo anyway. i spent most of my life being jomblo and it never bothered me at all. galau? apa itu galau? anak 80an ga kenal galau. 😀

    i’ll be rooting for that day when you can write about the right guy. go teps!!

    • awww, awww! what a story! and so insightful too! i agree, there’s no such thing as perfect guy, only those who are perfect-for-us… i’ll enjoy my days while waiting! 😀 thanks, neng!

  6. Astagooo… Daku sukiyaki bangeettt sama tulisan ini! Sungguh menghibur dan menguatkan! :))) Thanks for writing this, Teppy.
    Salam kenal. 🙂
    -silent reader yg ga tahan buat ga komen-

  7. Salam kenal mbak Teppy 🙂 . Suka deh sama tulisan-tulisanmu, Anyway…let’s go out and play hehehe. justru yang biasanya ribet itu orang2 di sekitar kita yg nanya : “kapan”?, “kapan”?, dan “kapan”, padahal kita-nya nyantai aja. Lagian buat apa memaksakan diri dalan sebuah hubungan kalau diri kita sendiri nggak hepi?

  8. @wulan: salam kenal juga, Wulaaaaaaaaaaaaan! terima kasih sudah baca-bacaaa 😀 yang penting happy ya! let’s go out and play! 😀

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